I was a grown adult at this point in time. I was amazed at their perceptiveness, and unsure of exactly what I'd done that warranted their comment. They were right, though.
I am socially awkward.
And I always have been.
(Yours Truly, circa 2003. My posture is making my eyes twitch.)
Different people probably have differing definitions of what it means to be socially awkward. In my case, I define it as failing to understand certain social cues, not knowing the proper responses to make in certain situations, and doing generally embarrassing things in public and feeling helpless while committing them.
My social awkwardness used to cause me some anxiety because I feared the ridicule of others. I tend to flub my speech when I get nervous--what if they thought I was stupid for bungling up everything I said? What if they tease me for not understanding something was supposed to be a joke? What if they talk behind my back about what a silly, foolish person I am?
What if nobody takes me seriously ever again?
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Does this sound familiar to any of you? Maybe you struggle with social awkwardness, too, and the anxiety that comes with it. Maybe you fear talking on the telephone because you can never figure out the "right" way to interact with people you can't see. Maybe you fear speaking with people face to face because you struggle with body language and misinterpret what people mean.
I understand. I've been there.
And you know what?
Things can get better.
At some point, I decided to own my awkwardness. I engage with dozens of people at my in-person events, and once I admitted to others that I am a Socially Awkward Person, things didn't start to seem so bad. I make lighthearted jokes about it: "Bobby Roland is shy and socially awkward, just like his author!" I'll say, which always generates a few chuckles.
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Being socially awkward is just going to be a part of who I am. I don't have much anxiety anymore. If someone has an issue with my lack of savvy social skills, who cares? That's their problem, and I really am trying my best, just like everyone else.
If you are socially awkward too, fear not. I personally believe that any socially awkward person can be Awesomely Awkward. Wear your awkwardness like a crown and make it yours! Plus, the more you get to practice social interaction, the more the wrinkles in your social skills will get ironed out. We may never be perfect--who isn't?--but we can sure as heck do the best with what we've got.
Do you have tips about dealing with social awkwardness? Share them in the comments!
