I have a migraine. I woke up with one this morning (a common occurrence) and hoped that it would go away once I'd had my coffee (which happens on occasion).
It didn't. After only four hours at work, I had to go home because I could not function at all. I took two Tylenol and laid down on the bed in the Writing Lair to try to sleep it off. I didn't fall asleep, but the simple act of lying there with my eyes shut and a pillow over my head made the pain lessen by a miniscule amount.
Three hours later, I got up. I took a shower to see if it would soothe my head. It did, some. But it still hurts. And it will keep hurting, and hurting, and hurting, because that is the way it has always been.
I have suffered from migraines since I was a small child. Medicine does little to help them. It hurts to look at bright lights and to hear loud noises. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. Sometimes I am unable to eat because my stomach feels so bad. I even learned how to say "My head hurts" in Spanish (Me duele la cabeza), because you never know when that might come in handy.
These days I only get migraines two or three times a month, but that is enough. They have caused me to stay home from family gatherings and other outings. They force me to sit in a dark room without any visual or auditory stimuli so that the pain will gradually go away.
And it makes me angry. Why would God curse me with such an affliction? I know people who haven't had a migraine a single day in their life, and I have them all the time. It just doesn't seem fair. Why should I be in so much pain that I can't work, cook dinner, or spend time with my family?
But then I start to think. We ALL suffer in some way. A woman who has never had a migraine might be undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. An equally migraine-free man might have arthritis so bad that he can no longer work. A child might suffer the emotional pain of abandonment. Depression, anxiety, abuse, loss: all are forms of suffering, and every single human being has suffered in some way at some point in their lives.
I shouldn't be angry that I suffer from migraines. Do I enjoy them? No. Do I wish they would be gone for good? YES! But since migraines are a part of who I am, maybe I should just learn to accept it.
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