The Continuing Saga of Jenn Versus Deer

So I've had this problem of deer coming into my yard and utilizing my plants as a sort of outdoor buffet line. Everything I plant gets eaten. Strawberries? Entire plants gone without a trace. Pine trees? They add those on the side as a garnish. Lately they've taken an interest in one of my apple trees, which is maybe six feet tall at the most. Last month the tree bore many beautiful white blooms which soon either fell off or ended up in some Bambi's stomach. Many leaves replaced the blooms, and one by one, they vanished. At first I thought that insects had done the leaves in, but closer inspection revealed that the entire ends of the branches had been snipped off by a deer's bicuspids. My eyes immediately turned a menacing shade of red, and in a singsong voice I bellowed, "I WILL HAVE VEN-GEAAAAAAAANCE!" Okay, maybe that last bit didn't happen, but you get the idea.

I thought about various ways in which I might get my revenge. I could have taken a mounted deer head and stabbed it onto a stake next to the tree to demonstrate what would happen if others of its kind sought to have a snack. I could have sat in silence behind the house with a 12-gauge shotgun waiting for the intruders to approach. I could have done many things, yet I did none of them, and that is where I made my mistake.

This morning I arose from bed and went into the kitchen, where I opened the blinds over the sink to gaze out upon the glorious new day. My eyes widened when they laid their gaze upon my precious apple tree. Something had snapped its central branch in half, and it dangled lifelessly like a useless limb, hanging on only by a bit of bark. A smaller branch also met the same fate--dangling. Useless. As I consumed my waffles, I brooded. What could I do? The tree would likely die because almost all of its leaves were gone. And I could not, would not, let that happen.

I went outside after the completion of my breakfast and inspected the tree. Yes, I decided, it could be saved. I returned to the house and found a roll of duct tape, which is my repair agent of choice. I cut off small pieces of the tape and secured the severed limbs back into place with the hope that they could grow back together.

Next I brought a shaker of chili powder outside and sprinkled it all over the remaining leaves and in a circle on the ground surrounding the tree. I also found the remnants of a bottle of deer repellant (it consists of garlic and putrefied egg whites) in the garage and sprayed what was left on and around the tree as well.

Now all I can do is sit and wait. With the way my luck goes, chili powder is probably a deer aphrodisiac and I've just made the worst mistake of my life.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

I know, I haven't posted much on here this month. I've been polishing up the manuscript for Rage's Echo, which is more of an epic undertaking than writing the rough draft. I haven't even been reading as often, either, which stinks because there are LOADS of books I want to read and I just don't always have the time to do it.

Anyway, I self published my Christian speculative fiction short story "Vapors" earlier this month, and it is now available only in the Amazon Kindle store. I designed a nifty cover for it:

You like? What I did was tear apart an empty frozen chimichanga box and dumped potting soil on it on my kitchen floor (because I didn't want to put dirt on the floor itself for obvious reasons), and I put one of my favorite necklaces on top to illustrate a scene from the story. Two photo editing programs later, and voila! I finished the cover.

Soon I will be querying agents regarding my work-in-process Rage's Echo. I will keep you updated, of course. :) Thanks for reading!


(Click the link below to see Vapors in the Kindle Store!)
http://www.amazon.com/Vapors-ebook/dp/B007R4A3OA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334629139&sr=8-1

"Sinner's Lament"

Sinner's Lament

By J. S. Bailey

Copyright 2012

I want to talk but no one's here

There's no one close and no one near

And though I walk and breathe I'm dead

From unseen wounds in heart and head.

My soul is gone, and with it, love

The One who cares dwells up above

Or all around, I cannot see

But God, no one will talk to me.

I'm freaking out, I'm losing touch

It's getting all to be too much

To breathe is torture, life is pain

Life's gonna make me go insane.

I'm sinking, slipping, swallowed up

Why would you make me drink this cup

Of poison! Poison! Cyanide!

Nowhere to run, no place to hide!

They're at my heels, they're coming fast

The monsters make me see the past

Of what was good, of what has been

Of what's now gone due to my sin.

I lay down in the grave I dug

I yearn for touch, for kiss, for hug

Yet none of these will I find here

There's no one close and no one near.

Abandoned! Yes, that ugly word

That's what I said and what you heard

My flesh is dying like my soul

As I expire in this hole.

My vision darkens as I die

The sunlight's fading from the sky

The distant tolling of a bell

Announces my descent to hell.

They say that you once died for me

Reach out your hand and you will see

I beg you, weeping, on my knees

Sweet Jesus, Savior, save me please.